Mid-20's can be tough, sad and disappointing. Please know that I am not talking things like death, illness, divorce etc, nothing that serious, and I am also DEFINITELY not talking about the devastating loss my FSU Seminoles suffered at the hands of NC nobody last night (or the fact that I flew to NC from Florida to watch this game, and was left standing mouth agape and heart broken and yes crying, yeah not talking about that yet), but I am talking about a few situations over the past few months that have made my heart heavy. Realizations that have been building for months, maybe years, have recently become very clear. Realizing that there are people in my life that need to be cut out, situations that I need to remove myself from, and the damage that the wrong actions/words can do. In the past I have a hard time confronting people who have wronged me, and I have only ever cut one person completely out of my life, but I have realized now more than ever that I don't have the time or patience for these kinds of people. I can only trust a very small number of people, mostly family and a very, few close friends. People that will support me no matter what, be there when I am down, and not judge or ridicule me for the mistakes I made. It's sad that I feel like a lot of people I know would sooner stab me in the back than stand by my side, and as awful as that sounds, I know it's true. As I said, this has been building for some time, but now it is time to take action.
We live in such a judgmental society, and it's almost impossible not to feel like everyone is judging you, talking behind your back, or seeing things that other people do/have as a competition, a need to get ahead. I'm not saying I have never done this, but comparison is an evil beast, and it can really mess with your head. Sometimes I feel myself getting sucked into the comparison game (thanks Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) and it never makes me feel good. But with all the social media and information that people put out there, this comparison is only natural, and I try not to let it bother me or consume me. What does bother me is thinking that other people will do whatever it takes to get "ahead of the game" even if it means being dishonest, mean and unable to be truly happy for others.I have experienced this firsthand, and its hard to talk about, and still weighs heavy on my heart, but it has helped me make an important realization:
Actions speak louder than words. Much much louder.
And while I may have let this stuff go in the past, at this point it is best for me to separate myself from these people. It isn't easy for me to give up on people, but I am confident it will give me more time and energy to focus on the people who add value to my life.
I know that's kinda deep for a Sunday, and thank you Pinterest, for knowing how to express how I feel in a better way than I can :)
