OMG I Blogged

We get it, you hate us. You hate our conference, and our schedule, and constantly use it to undermine our abilities. But won't let us into the SEC. We beat an SEC team in the National Championship, and you still tell us we aren't good enough for your conference. You hate our goofy, idiotic, immature QB? We do too sometimes! You hate our 2 year long, 27 game win streak. Newsflash: for FSU fans, 27 wins means 2 years of living inside a pressure cooker, under intense scrutiny from the entire nation, and thousands upon thousands who have never stepped foot into Tallahassee watch every week waiting for us to fail. Does that sound like fun? 60 minutes of complete and utter agony? Do you think it's fun watching, praying, hoping, not breathing through another horrendous first half, then seeing a totally new team emerge after halftime, snatching victory out of the jaws of defeat, week after week after week? Let me tell you what it is: It is humbling and gritty and scary. Is there Is there no credit given to the team that looks like a shadow of last year's dominant, punishing, unforgiving Seminoles, yet manages to keep winning out of sheer tenacity? What happened to celebrating sports for being gritty, and hard fought, nose to the ground, exciting to watch? Why isn't that what makes sports exciting anymore? How is it more exciting to hate someone and tune in to their game simply to watch them lose. Well, what Seminole Nation sees, and the rest of the nation is ignoring this small fact: Our team refuses to give up, no matter what. When the foes are rejoicing that their dreams might come true, and fans have buried their faces in their hands, certain that this will be the week where there isn't enough left in the tank. And how do those boys in the garnet and gold respond? They play football. They don't panic, they dont wring their hands, they just play. For 60 minutes. Somehow these18-22 year old boys who are forced to live in that pressure cooker 24-7, practicing, attending school, dealing with the constant scrutiny, carrying the weight of 27 victories on their overloaded shoulders. Every game becomes your biggest game, even the games that should be insignificant, carry significance, because you are getting every team's best shot. ALl their trick plays, all their creativity, every ounce of passion and hard work, because they have nothing to lose, and you, the defending champions, have EVERYTHING to lose. And everyone waiting for you to fall. And yet you hate us. With fire and passion and unimaginable spite. And say the meanest, most hateful and untrue things I don't think our team, our coaches or our fans are cocky, just defensive in response to so much hate. Hate that seems to blind everyone to the real facts of our success, and to employ smear tactics that make me cringe as a human being. Since everyone seems to have a defining icon at which to unleash all their hatred. Maybe you call him Famous Jameis, Infamous Jameis, Shameus Jameis, Crab Boy or a veritable host of much worse names. So let's talk about Jameis: My opinions on Jameis are this: he is an incredible quarterback, with resiliency, a positive attitude and leadership qualities that you can go years and years in a competitive college athletics program and never find. He is special and unique and a heck of a football player. That being said, there 1) Rape Allegations: Two years later, and they are still nothing but allegations. There are 2, maybe 4 people in the world that really know what happened. Of the 4 people who may know about it, three are telling the same story, and one is telling a different one. Why are there so many opinions about something that to the public is merely speculation? Innocent until proven guilty is the way the justice system is supposed to work, but apparently not in today's world where being a superstar on the field and an alleged monster off the field will get pageviews. Read the police reports. Learn the facts that have been made public, and try to remember that the lives of two young college students have been forever altered by whatever did or did not occur in December 2012. Imagine that is your younger sister or brother, or son or daughter. To the random strangers I encounter that hear that I am a graduate of FSU, and immediatly feel the need to blurt out" Yeah well at least (insert school here's) QB isn't a rapist like yours" or some other ridiculous comment along the same lines, you should be ashamed to even suggest that. Ashamed by your ignorance of the situation, ashamed that you would use a heinous crime as the punchline in a joke about college football. Ashamed that you think that I, as a female and a human being, even if you don't know me, would think it was ok for someone who committed a crime against another person to be exempt from punishment because they happen to be good at playing a game of glorified catch. It's not ok. IF IF IF IF, Jameis Winston commmitted this crime, hw should be thrown in jail. IImmediately. have said it over and over and over. Human morality trumps college football 100% of the time. Period. Seminole Nation believes that, wholeheartedly. We believe in justice ahead of a football dynasty. The problem is, we might never know the truth. No matter how many hearings and articles and interviews, as it is frequently sexual assault cases, it boils down to "he said" "she said" and enters the very gray and murky world that exists in a haze of alcohol, promiscuity and immaturity, from all parties involved. And that is why I don't pass judgement on the situation. Because I wasn't there, and I don't know what really happened. Neither do you. Hate us if you want to, but for the right reasons. Learn the facts, try to apply the circumstances to the leader and figurehead of whatever team you may root for or someone who is a leader and a role model to many, insert college girls, college boys, athletics, a large university, alcohol and immaturity, and then tell me that you are 100% sure you know what happened that night, and that no gray area exists. Tell me that the element of ambiguity is not an elephant in the room, blocking all paths to a definite answer. Finally, tell me why you think it is your responsibility to pass judgement on a situation that has nothing to do with you. Crab Legs: Maybe you had your brain filter in the off position that day in Tallahassee at Club Pub. Too bad NO ONE supported you on this one, I repeat no one, and that you embarassed us all. Don't do it again. I am tired of being referred to as Free Seafood University. I hope those crab legs were delicious, because you made us eat crow. Internet MeMe in the Union: AgWe get it, you are a class clown, a funny, jovial guy and we appreciate your dance moves, your pranks and your head bobbing speeches. But this isn't good, that silly brain filter must have shorted out again. We missed you during the Clemson game, but excaped Unconquered. Let the internet memes speak for themselves from now on. Point Shaving Allegations: This one was laughable, because I am not sure that you have the brains to do this without getting caught. Luckily, it seems like this one caught some steam and fizzled out. Autographs for $: This one irritates me, as it only furthers my theory that the universe is against FSU. For weeks and weeks this went on, wondering if he was paid for these autographs, and in the end, IT WASN"T EVEN HIS SIGNATURE. What a waste of time and energy on everyone's part. Don't even get me started on the fact that the undefeated, reigning National Champion sits at #3 in the CFP behind two 1-loss teams. That is for another day. In the words of my favorite girl Taylor Swift and one of my favorite internet memes, Haters gonna Hate, Hate, Hate, Hate Hate, Players gonna play, play, play play play. Bye Felicia GO NOLES!

I Will Never Be The Girl Who....

...goes to a hot yoga class, and doesn't come out looking like I went swimming, with hair that looks like Priscilla Presley, with a face to rival the ripest tomato. I do not sweat delicately. I do not glisten or sheen, I sweat ugly drops that drip into my eyes, ears, onto my yoga mat, and often do not stop sweating until long after class is over. It's gross.

...can eat just two cookies. or just five. One day I ate an entire sleeve of thin mints at my desk in one day. I felt very proud of myself at the time, but now it's embarassing. I figure I will eat them all eventrually, so who cares if it is in one sitting? That way I can get the guilt out of the way all at once!

....can sit still and focus on one task for more than five minutes. I have been sitting at this computer screen for less than 5 minutes, and my mind is already wondering if I should dust or vacuum, where one of the three books I am currently reading is, what will happen tonight on Revenge, and marveling at the gorgeous spring day that is right outside :) #attentiondeficitmuch?

.....will have a fairy tale love story. I had what I thought was a fairytale romance once (it was at the beginning, but quickly turned ugly), and I don't think I am due for that to happen again. Some people have chance meetings, karmic connections, otherworldly circumstances, and some people have a love story that starts in a very ordinary way. I currently have no love story, but for some reason I see it playing out in a very generic, un-exciting way. Here's hoping I'm wrong....

....can paint her own nails and have them look nice. It just doesn't work

....that can start a series on netflix, and then stop after a few episodes. 1-2 episodes per night, yeah right, try like 12. My track record is very very bad when it comes to binge watching shows. House of Cards and Revenge are my two latest victims. Of course, all the binge watching usually leads to dreams related to the series, that's always fun. Not.

....has a keen eye for what looks good together, whether in decorating a house, or picking out an outfit, pinterest is my very best friend.

.....can take baths. The temperature is never right, I don't have any bubbles, I feel like I am stewing in my own filth, and I can't be trusted with my phone or kindle or glass of wine while in the tub. This bums me out, but what can you do?

.....can watch a soldier homecoming video without crying ugly, ugly tears. Never.

....can budget. My Mint app on my phone is a constant source of guilt, as I charge (no pun intended) my way through almost every budget I set every month. Clothes and food are the worst. ugh #guilttrip

...looks nice at home. Once my day is over, all bets are off. Old Navy makes the comfiest athletic shorts, and I own no less than 9 (yes, 9) pairs of the same shorts, and they are in constant rotation around the house.Usually accompanied by a mismatched shirt. What? No one is around to see me, except for the random delivery person..

....can buy just one of something. If I like it, I need 5 of it, one in every color (see above). Most of the time I have a favorite of the 5 I buy, and that one gets used/worn the most, but I don't know that at the time and can't risk missing out!

I think that's about enough confessions about my shortcomings for one day. Happy Sunday!

Florida State University: 2013 BCS National Champions!!!

Welp, hello 6 months without blogging, and this is 11 days late, but this definitely deserves to be written about!

By far one of the best moments of my life, and by moments, I mean every stressed, hair pulling, groaning, yelling cursing, whole body shaking moments, all the tears (there were lots) and pure joy that was this exhilarating, incredible, unexpected, dominance vs destiny, Florida State Victory!!

 

I am 99.9% positive that I am the only person in the world who still cares or thinks about this game, but I still plan to bask in the details of the game of the year until next September!

Of course, I recorded the whole game and have watched it multiple times without being in the state of pure panic that I was during the game, and a few things keep jumping out to me as turning points in the game.

So, here are 8 things that made the ultimate difference in the BCS National Championship Game

1)     Ricardo Louis dropped first pass of the game. He was left wide open down the middle, and I mean WIDE open. Easy touchdown if he catches this.

2)     Auburn’s missed field goal in the 2^nd Quarter. That kick went MAYBE 6 inches wide right of the post, but any missed points in a game like this are critical. Thank goodness Jimbo focuses on recruiting excellent kickers (I’m looking at you Graham Gano, Dustin Hopkins and Roberto Aguayo).

3)     Jimbo Fisher calling a fake punt down 21-3 in 2^nd quarter. When it seemed like NOTHING could go right for FSU, Jimbo trusted his talent and called a trick play that resulted in a first down and a touchdown.

4)     Missed tackle/collision on Rashad Green run. This one irks me because I was told by a Bitter Betty the day after the game that we “got lucky” on this play because two Auburn defenders ran into each other, allowing RG to run for a big gain. I would like to call a very large BS on that comment, because college football and sports in general, are made up of tiny, seemingly insignificant moments that pan out differently than you expect, and that makes up the game! Hey Auburn/Bitter Betty/Haters, how about two Georgia defenders trying to catch the ball instead of batting it down and instead pushing it straight into the arms of the receiver, and you run that in for the game winning touchdown? Little moments. ALL THE TIME. Every single game.

5)     PJ Williams’s interception. Led to a score, pushed momentum even further into FSU territory.

6)     100 Yard Punt Return. Holy Kermit Whitfield, welcome to the spotlight my friend. Stay a while!

7)     Tre Mason scored too early. This one baffles me, because I see Gus Malzahn as such a strategic thinker, yet he didn’t instruct his running back to stop before the goal line and eat up some more of the clock. I also wouldn’t be surprised to hear that Jimbo Fisher told the defense to lay off a little, let him score (gasp!) and get the ball back. Don’t leave the Heisman Winning, spotlight loving, birthday celebrating, freshman QB 1:19 to play with.

8)     Chris Davis. The hero of the Iron Bowl, blah blah blah. He almost muffed three separate punts, clearly held down RG’s arms in the end zone, and was grossly physically overmatched against Kelvin Benjamin on the final play of the game. 6’5” vs. 5’11”. No contest

Go Noles!!

Word Vomit, Fall and Football!

I have so many things to say,  and have had for weeks, but as usual, I can’t get them out in words. These past few weeks have included  a lot of new-ish emotions, a lot of connecting to people from my past, hearing stories of their paths that are so different from mine, and as a result of these re-connections, a lot of thinking. While I don’t love living in the place where I grew up,  it can be a fun and pleasant experience to run into people from my past, except when I am running into the store after yoga and run into someone who thinks that I look like this sweaty red-faced mess all the time (I don’t, promise). Anyways, it makes my heart happy when people reach out to me, in times of happiness, or sadness or change, it's always welcome, and I wish I were better at being the one to reach out. I'm working on it. It’s nice to feel like no time has passed, and to get to know these people  in their life now, not like you knew them in the past. End ramble. I think. However, re-connecting after a long absence entails lots of “what’s new?”, “Are you dating anyone?”, “ What have you been up to?” questions, and its not easy for me to say I have been at the same job for 3 years (definitely not a bad thing, but saying the number out loud makes me wonder where the last 3 years have gone and what have I done during that time),  I haven’t had a serious relationship in 4 years, or anything resembling a relationship in over 3 years (eep). Saying that out loud to someone was a slap in the face reality check of my life. I had to ask myself, what HAVE I done in the past 3 years, 5 years, 10 years. I have decided that will be another post, to help me realize that I have accomplished things in that time. I am not ashamed to admit that I like stability, and constants, and I don’t always do well with change. But that doesn’t mean that change never needs to happen in my life. It does. Like now. I need it to challenge me, to break me down and show me what I am really made of.  I need relationships to open me up and challenge me in a different way, to hurt in that vulnerable way and feel good at the same time. I need these things to happen to me, for me, with me, but I’m not sure how to start. I don’t know if I am putting the right vibes/signals/emotions out there that reflects what I want. I believe in the law of attraction, that what you put out is what you get back, and at certain points in my life I try harder to really focus on what I want to get back, and make an effort to put that type of energy out into the universe. This is a goal of mine, for it to be a constant thing instead of an intermittent thing.That can also be another whole post. High Five for blog post ideas within other blog posts!

Enough heavy stuff. Phew. It is  officially my favorite season of the year, except the weather seems to differ. Stupid Florida. I looveee FALLLLLL!!!! My most favorite part of fall is pretty obvious because it is also the favorite of many, many others, college football! Go Noles!! I am so excited for a season of triumphs and tragedies (hopefully all triumphs) of my boys in the garnet and gold, good times with friends, cooler weather, some fall road trips and travel, and fun fall traditions :)

Oops, that was another ramble. I promise I am done. So to ensure I do not commit the ultimate blogger sin of posting without pictures (gasp!), I will continue my love affair with fall with some pictures, pictures that do not currently represent me at this present moment, sitting and sweating outside in a tank and shorts with an ice cold diet coke because my organs would combust if I tried to suck down a Pumpkin Spice Latte at this moment. 

FSU QB #5- Jameis Winston aka Famous Jameis.

Our hope rests in those big hands of yours, buddy.

Scalp Em! Go Noles!

Summer Bucket List

Oops, took a month-plus blogging break without even meaning to. I have been busy, which will always be true, but mostly I just didn't take the time to sit down, think and write.Here's to a new month (10 days late) of recording my life as it happens! (I wish I had started on July 1, but oh well).

June was a busy month, full of sand soccer, regular soccer, lots of yoga, discovering how much I love fresh juices, and deciding where I wanted to move.

July has started off busy as well, with a 7-day trip to Boston, July 4th at Fenway Park, and some quality family and friend time, and some relaxation at the Trapp Family Lodge, which of course I loved because the Trapp Family story inspired the Sound of Music!!

 

Now it's almost time to go back home to humid FL, for more sand soccer, and crossing things of that Summer Bucket List!!

A few weeks ago I started jotting down some summer goals on my phone, and it quickly turned into a long list.... So I am posting it here to keep myself accountable to the items on the list. Some are serious, some are silly, but I firmly believe that it is good to have goals that challenge you so life doesn't get stale ;)

Summer Bucket List
Golf
Play tennis with Dad
Go vegan/vegetarian for a week
No caffeine for a week
One day no phone
Social media free week/weekend
Read five books (outside of book club)
Run 10 miles at once

Sign up for a race (10k or higher)
5 days no tv
Keep nails painted all summer
Drink a corona Rita
Take an impromptu trip
Save more money
Don't avoid people when you run into them ;)
Visit Danielle in Miami
Lose 10 lbs
Get second tattoo
Buy ray ban aviators
Have a steamy make out session 💋

So there you have it! Ready, set, go!!

One Year

Last Sunday marked one year since the world lost my sweet Nana. It was a day of mixed emotions to say the least. I am in awe at how fast a year has gone by, and felt both like a million things and nothing at all happened in that time frame. I spent most of the day at my childhood church, St Stephens,  celebrating our priest, Father John's 50th anniversary of his ordination. I was baptized at St. Stephens by Father John, in the cafeteria because the church wasn't finished being built yet. I did all of my CCD, PREP and Confirmation classes there, and it has always been my home church, an open, faithful and loving community that I am proud to be a part of. The church itself is breathtaking, huge and open, with beautiful and special details. The music is second to none. I stood next to one of my best friends last year at this church as she married the love of her life, and it is a wonderful, wonderful place. Anyways, end ramble, back to the topic. We celebrated with a beautiful mass celebrating Fr John, with heartwarming stories, beautiful songs, and a gigantic church packed 100% to the brim with parishioners from near and very far, to gather and celebrate a wonderful man who is truly a servant of God, and who has been a comforting, loving and faithful presence for so many people.

Anyways, again off topic. Nana. It seemed fitting that this celebration occurred on the anniversary of her death, because she was the Godliest woman I have ever met. She went to church every day, prayed daily with her  Italian prayer novena, which my grandpa now has taken over praying with every day since she left us, and she had the quietest, but most faithful spirit I have ever encountered. She was so gentle, so kind, so loving, quiet, caring, friendly and generous. So many things have reminded me of her over the past year, and I smile thinking of her, always. My sister told us a few weeks ago that she used to pinch Nana's skin, which was so pale and soft in her old age. I crack up laughing thinking about my sister gently pinching the skin on Nana's frail, soft arm and hands, and that she would think Emily was a nut case for doing this, but smiling and letting her do it anyway.

Being in the church on that sad day was comforting, my dad and I talked about her a little bit, how she would have loved to see the turnout of people, all celebrating someone who was so close to God, just like Nana was. It made me feel close to her, which was a nice reminder that she may be gone from the Earth, but never far from our hearts.

Nana, we miss you and love you always and forever.

Blog Every Day in May

Wow...I set out to blog every day in May, was given interesting prompts, and even wrote posts, but end up posting less frequently than normal. Fail...

Anyways, I will attempt to catch up....

Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)

I miss being young and careless. In middle school, I wasn’t the most popular kid, I was awkward with the whole package of awkwardness: braces, glasses(tinted blue no less so my eyes wouldn’t be damaged by the sun. Thanks mom), thick bangs, strange clothes, and hairy legs (until I was 12 and allowed to shave them). But this didn’t bother me, or my friends. We were all sort of awkward in our own ways, but we were also pretty confident with ourselves, we were smart, but not super nerds, most of us played sports, and we were just happy to be ourselves. Life hadn't turned into a place full of judgement for us yet, we hadn't felt pressure to live up to expectations yet, we just had a good time having sleepovers, watching scary movies and freezing peoples bras. We couldn’t wait to grow up, but were happy right where we were, content with who we were, and did what  we wanted (or what our parents would let us do), and that was a great feeling, even if we weren't aware of it yet.

I have included a picture to document the awkwardness, just for fun. :)

Day 22, Wednesday: Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really ticks you off)

I thought this was easy topic to choose, until I went off on a complete mental tangent. I want to rant about people. People can be so mean, so hurtful and so selfish and don’t even give it another thought. When did this world become so full of judgement? When did it become ok to hurt peoples feelings on purpose? When did it become ok to not listen? People are so self-righteous these days, constantly looking down on anyone who does or thinks things differently than they do. I am in no way innocent of this, judgements slip through your mind and cross your lips before you have barely registered them, and sometimes I am quick to jump into a conversation without truly listening to what the other person is saying. But at least I acknowledge that it occurs, and TRY to make an effort to be a better listener, a better friend, a better human. Some people are so wrapped up in their own world they cant even do that, and it makes me sad. For some reason talking about humans being selfish led me to think about excuses. Excuses are everywhere, lurking, surfacing and abundant. I am not innocent of this, by any means, but the guilt of making excuses never fails to build up and grab at me. Excuses about eating healthy, about losing weight, about working out, about their relationships, about why they aren't working at their dream job, aren't making that move to the new city, aren't living out their dreams in any way, shape or form. Again I'm not innocent in this, but I am trying to make a conscious effort to find out what truly tugs at my heartstrings, and to let those things guide my life as much as possible.