Beautiful Disaster: pinterest

Sunday, March 30, 2014

I Will Never Be The Girl Who....

...goes to a hot yoga class, and doesn't come out looking like I went swimming, with hair that looks like Priscilla Presley, with a face to rival the ripest tomato. I do not sweat delicately. I do not glisten or sheen, I sweat ugly drops that drip into my eyes, ears, onto my yoga mat, and often do not stop sweating until long after class is over. It's gross.

...can eat just two cookies. or just five. One day I ate an entire sleeve of thin mints at my desk in one day. I felt very proud of myself at the time, but now it's embarassing. I figure I will eat them all eventrually, so who cares if it is in one sitting? That way I can get the guilt out of the way all at once!

....can sit still and focus on one task for more than five minutes. I have been sitting at this computer screen for less than 5 minutes, and my mind is already wondering if I should dust or vacuum, where one of the three books I am currently reading is, what will happen tonight on Revenge, and marveling at the gorgeous spring day that is right outside :) #attentiondeficitmuch?

.....will have a fairy tale love story. I had what I thought was a fairytale romance once (it was at the beginning, but quickly turned ugly), and I don't think I am due for that to happen again. Some people have chance meetings, karmic connections, otherworldly circumstances, and some people have a love story that starts in a very ordinary way. I currently have no love story, but for some reason I see it playing out in a very generic, un-exciting way. Here's hoping I'm wrong....

....can paint her own nails and have them look nice. It just doesn't work

....that can start a series on netflix, and then stop after a few episodes. 1-2 episodes per night, yeah right, try like 12. My track record is very very bad when it comes to binge watching shows. House of Cards and Revenge are my two latest victims. Of course, all the binge watching usually leads to dreams related to the series, that's always fun. Not.

....has a keen eye for what looks good together, whether in decorating a house, or picking out an outfit, pinterest is my very best friend.

.....can take baths. The temperature is never right, I don't have any bubbles, I feel like I am stewing in my own filth, and I can't be trusted with my phone or kindle or glass of wine while in the tub. This bums me out, but what can you do?

.....can watch a soldier homecoming video without crying ugly, ugly tears. Never.

....can budget. My Mint app on my phone is a constant source of guilt, as I charge (no pun intended) my way through almost every budget I set every month. Clothes and food are the worst. ugh #guilttrip

...looks nice at home. Once my day is over, all bets are off. Old Navy makes the comfiest athletic shorts, and I own no less than 9 (yes, 9) pairs of the same shorts, and they are in constant rotation around the house.Usually accompanied by a mismatched shirt. What? No one is around to see me, except for the random delivery person..

....can buy just one of something. If I like it, I need 5 of it, one in every color (see above). Most of the time I have a favorite of the 5 I buy, and that one gets used/worn the most, but I don't know that at the time and can't risk missing out!

I think that's about enough confessions about my shortcomings for one day. Happy Sunday!

Sunday, February 3, 2013

The Perfect, Put Together Girl....

That girl. I will never be THAT girl. Everyone knows that girl, has one somewhere in her life, maybe in real life, or on Facebook or Pinterest or Instagram. She’s perfectly coiffed, with cute accessories, the best arm party, her pants fit and are the right length, her shoes are interesting, and her purse matches her outfit. She is on time, isn’t frazzled and is fully prepared for the day before her.

I want so badly to be that girl….I’ve never been her, with perfect hair, volumized and gelled and sprayed and smoothed, the one who carefully chose her outfit the night before, ironed it and woke up on time to put it on, made sure everything matched, and was positive that she was wearing two of the same shoe ;)

Instead of being that girl, most of the time I am too loud when I get excited, I hate my outfits/hair/shoes, my makeup at the end of the workday has disappeared, and its a frightening sight, I have piles of ratty tshirts and $7 yoga pants that I wear at home ~~in public~~ with no shame, I'm never on time, I eat dinner most night sitting on the floor, I consider a Toaster Strudel to be a balanced meal, I own exactly 3 things in my kitchen, my towels are dingy and ripping, my bed is never made, I sleep on wet hair and have a fro in the morning, if I straighten my hair, it’s flat on top and curls in an ugly way at the bottom. If I curl it, it looks messy, and a giant knot forms at the back of my neck, I am terrible at applying eyeliner and I run errands after hot yoga and can feel people being repelled by my bird’s nest hair and red face. Phew. That’s a lot to get off my chest.haha

The point of this all, is that it’s much harder than it seems to have it all together all the time, but it is something I want to focus on, for my own confidence and sanity, as well as my appearance to the outside world. Now I am not going to stop going to the store if I need something after yoga, or kick myself if I can never apply eyeliner just right, but I just want to make a few small changes to my routines, to make it “appear” that maybe I could possibly one day be THAT girl. So, in the spirit of channeling my inner "it girl", its time to unbunch my drawers and make some changes:

1) I would love to own more NICE furniture/kitchen supplies/grown up things. I made a list that quickly grew to be pages long, and I will slowly start to collect quality items for that day in the future when I may not have a roommate with all the grown up things.

2) I would like to wake up on time and spend more than the last 5 minutes of my harried morning frenzy doing my hair. Hair first, clothes, then makeup. But that would require waking up on time...and maybe having an outfit picked out the night before. This may also involve blow drying at night, and looking for simple updos and styles and volumizing tips….

3) More pulled together outfits. With the invention of Pinterest, there is no excuse for not looking cute. I need to add more pops of color, more belts and scarves and mixed patterns. And I need to tuck things in. I am averse to tucking since I hate my tummy area, but I will have to make some mental adjustments and make this an option.