Have you ever had a day where you just feel off? Just not right? I feel like that now. Not really sick but just off, kinda sad but not sure why. i think i am in a funk of sorts, and i cant get out. I am doing my best to get into the holiday spirit, but i keep getting bogged down by other situations. I get so sad sometimes thinking about the troubles and turmoils of others, and i feel guilty that i am being such a grouch, but i just cant seem to get my life together enough to get into the holiday spirit. Guilt on top of sadness, on top of sickly feelings are not a good combination for me.
Update: Day 3 of feeling wierd and out of sorts. I have figured out that the steroids I am on for my knee are making me feel strange (dry mouth, fuzzy brain, headache, food tastes wierd). But there are other things bothering me: work stuff is not cooperating the last few weeks, and I feel like i am standing still and cant get anything accomplished its SUPEr frustrating. I cant for the life of me get into the holiday spirit. I have tried lighting christmas candles, we decorated the apartment, and i have my nsync and 98 degrees holiday cds in my car on repeat, but it just isnt working. Maybe because its almost 80 degrees in orlando this week and rainy, maybe because i am packing for a cruise thursday (i am praying that it will help me relax a bit), maybe its because my family isn't exchanging gifts this year.... No idea, but i feel like more and more of a grinch every day. other people are all aglow with the light of the season and the joy of giving, and i want to poke them in the eyes with boughs of holly (not really, but sometimes). and i am stuck in a (insert expletives here) rut. I have very little time to snap out of it, maybe the cold weather in Boston and NYC next week will help, but by that time the season will be almost over, and I will feel like I have wasted it :(
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