Is the whole world going crazy?!

What is going on with the universe? I stepped away from my phone for 5 hours last night to host my first Stella and Dot party and these two things happen: 

 Adele announces she is pregnant, and

Katie Holmes files for divorce!

Uproar

Do you ever feel like the whole world is in an uproar? Like everything is up in the air, unsettled, there is chaos and controversy everywhere? That's how I feel at this moment, and even though most of it doesn't affect me in a significant way, but I still feel stress about it.

 

Maybe it's because the Obamacare decision was just announced, and that I have been discussing it with co-workers for the past few hours trying to understand it better. Maybe its because I am in the midst of a thought provoking conversation with a friend about a situation in college that pretty much split our group of friends apart.

 

Or another friend who is stuck in a financial/professional limbo that gives her a lot of anxiety.

 

All of these things have converged on my life in the past 2 hours and have left my head spinning, have sent me back in time to analyze the way I used to act, why I acted the way I did, if I took responsibility for my own actions back then, if I do that now, how I let people make me feel, how I felt about myself, if the people who made me feel a certain way changed the adult I turned out to be, if I act the way I should as an adult, and on and on and ON. It also makes me want to research a lot of this political controversy that is going on, makes me want to help my friend who is struggling, AND makes me want to take a big nap :)

 

Let me mentally prioritize, and hopefully sort out what is going on. I will take the easiest task first: All I can do for my friend who is stuck in financial/professional limbo is pray for her, be grateful for my job, and support her as much as I can as she figures out what comes next.

As far as ObamaCare, I can educate myself on the issues at hand and use the information to develop an informed and education decision about who will be the best person to run our country come November. 2 down, 1 to go. This one is the most complicated.

 

Background:  In college, we had a group of friends. One of these friends, S, had a penchant for starting drama with everyone about anything. I lived with S&L Junior year, left to study abroad, and moved in with R senior year. Senior year, S, L and A lived together. A was a new addition to the group, moving in with S because her parents were friends with S parents.  S had told L that A was crazy, filled her head with bad things about her, and there was a sour taste from the start. I am having trouble pinpointing the exact year this happened, maybe senior year, maybe the following year when I moved back in with A and S, to finish grad school. (see Sidenote for the ending of my relationship with S).

 

 

Here is the situation that has come back: One night, I mistakenly  told A, that she "wasn't as bad as L said she was", which A promptly told L, who got really upset and demanded to know who said that to A. I think (I hope, honestly can't remember) I came clean about what I said, but the damage was already done. There was yelling, screaming, tears, lots of drama and heartache more drama involved and the group was finished. People stopped hanging out with S because of her tendency to get too drunk, cause trouble and try to steal people's boyfriends and generally act like an insane person. L&R had moved on to mostly hanging out with other people, but I lived with R senior year, so I still hung out with her, and had a foot in both worlds. Now, 4 years later, nobody talks to S, no one really talks to A, I talk to D&L and also L&R, who are totally separate groups from one another. So I again have my foot in both worlds and thought everything had blown over and everyone had moved on just fine. Until last night, when D randomly brought up A in a conversation, and L was compelled to message A on FB, apologizing for her behavior and for believing what S had said about her. She told A she didn't have to respond, and says she hopes A doesn't respond, but wanted to let her know how she felt. This has brought up a lot of feelings for me: guilt over my ability at the time to accept responsibility for my actions, my judgement in people's character and the idea that people can hold onto grudges and hurtful words and drunken confessions for a lot longer than you think. It really makes me want to think twice before saying something, which is hard for me to do.

 

 

Side note: my friendship with S ended because near the end of grad school when we were living together, she got wasted and upset because people were not paying enough attention to her at the bar, came home, started packing her car with stuff and tried to drive back to Tampa. I had her license and credit card from the bar, told her I would give it back to her when she was sober so she could go home. SHe was stomping around downstairs when I got out of the shower (at 3am mind you), and I went down in my towel while brushing my teeth to tell her to calm down. She charged at me, slammed me into the wall and tried to beat me up. A came downstairs and yelled at her, and I locked myself in my room, put her license and credit card on the washing machine at 6am the next day, and have never seen her again. She messaged me 6 months later saying how sorry she was and wanted to be friends again. I politely told her I had put up with her behavior for far too long, that she was a drain on my life and my relationships and I haven't had any contact with her since. This is the first time in my life that I have ended contact with a friend, and I should have done it a lot sooner. What happened with her, and the fact that I put up with it for so long without realizing that I didn't deserve people like that in my life gives me a lot of self-doubt about my judgement of people.

Weekend Update...In Letter Form, With Pictures!

Dear Sunburn, you hurt so F'ing bad!

Dear Spray Sunscreen, you don't work. 

Dear Beach weekend, I love you and I want to see you more often (minus the sunburn and the drama please)

Dear Drama, Get the F*&% out of my life, forever. Thanks. People who caused drama, I thought you were my friends....

Dear Dad, Thanks for Sunday night dinner. I love you so much!

Dear Sister Studying Abroad, Talking to you made my day. I love you more than life, and I can't wait to see you in 6 weeks.

Dear Green Juice, you taste like a jolly rancher, I like you!

Dear Outtakes of Bachelorette last week, I rewinded and watched about 4 times. Thanks for having HILARIOUS footage of the guys falling off the donkeys. "Ooops, mine is getting away" HAHA

Weekend Update

After a 2 month trip to Washington, and a whirlwind week/weekend in Boston/Baltimore/Cleveland/Vegas, I needed this weekend to be lazy/get my life back together.

Friday: I caught up on some of my much neglected reality TV, met a friend for the best margaritas in town at Cucina 214 (they put a swirl of sangria into the margarita, delish), then went to Wine Room where I ran into two of my friends, yay!

Saturday: I cleaned out my closet and finally organized all my unpacked stuff from my trips, then went to my friend Laura's graduation party. She is moving to Charlotte in July and we have several fun parties and trips planned before she leaves. I also decided to host a Stella and Dot jewelry party in a few weeks. I love their jewelry, and I can't wait to introduce more of my friends to this fun, stylish jewelry. Then I went to church and had dinner with my Dad, then ran some errands and met a few friends for beers in my neighborhood.

Sunday: I went to a 90 minute hot yoga class this morning, and my legs felt like jelly for a while after I got home, but it felt good to work hard. I really need to get back into running, so I can do a few 1/2 marathons this fall, and for some strange reason, I agreed to run Chicago Marathon 2013 with my cousin Andrew. Yes, a full marathon. eek. I better start running. Then my dad came over to look at the doors and windows in my apartment, because we have a bit of a roach problem. He was looking for places that they might be getting in. I just want to bug bomb the whole place every day, because roaches totally freak me out, and we see them every few weeks and its ridiculous. Then my Dad and I got 5 Guys burgers for lunch (yum).Then I cleaned out the fridge and now I am hanging out until it is time to go to dinner at my Dad's house for Father's Day. Then it's back to work tomorrow, but soccer starts tomorrow night and I can't wait to get back out and play, and then the Bachelorette is on! I am definitely Team Arie and Team Jef ( I know his hair is weird, but he wears it well).

That's all for me! I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Goodbye

I have been terrible at blogging lately, and I promise to get better. But I got some really bad news this morning. My sweet nana passed away in her sleep last night. It feels very surreal, but real at the same time. It has been a hard day and it promises to be a hard week ahead, but she was so loved and so loving, and I know she is now an angel watching over us all. 

I love you Nana!