Love Songs

These two songs have been in HEAVY rotation on my ipod. A Thousand Years is from the Twilight soundtrack but I don't remember it from the movie, but I saw the link in my random blog stalking and have listened to it hundreds of times. And ever since Ben sat at the piano on his date with Lindzi ( my new front runner to win since he got rid of Emily and Kacie B), and played those first few notes, I was HOOKED on This Year's Love.

One of these days, maybe I will organize myself enough to 1) make improvements to the blog in the form of an actual layout and some more interesting graphics and widgets and 2) schedule posts and learn how to do a link-up :)

Feeling Strange

I feel strange. I have felt a little off since yesterday. Several strange small things happened yesterday, none of them serious (a rude comment, hearing about the engagement of an ex, a misunderstanding) but all combining has me feel iffy last night and today. My feelings seem to compound on themselves, and come out when I try to have quiet, alone time. I can't think of a better word for it than iffy, but it brings with it frustration, anxiety and irritability. The result is feeling disconnected, sad, lonely and lost. I really hate admitting that I feel lonely, because I love spending time alone and being independent, but this feeling of loneliness can be pretty hard to deal with. I always try to convince myself that I need to get a dog, until I feel guilty that I wouldn't have much time to spend with it (one day I will crack and get one). I am not sure how to deal with it sometimes, the only thing I know how to do is try to distract myself until it passes. I can't even express the feeling in words, which upsets me even more. Maybe I am being hypersensitive. This post makes no sense, and I don't like it. I feel like a complete lunatic.

I am going to brave the crowds in Orlando for NBA All Star Weekend and try to leave my funk behind. 

"Let Go and Let God"

Breathe

Bachelor Update....Way late

While in SC (without my DVR), I had to make the tough decision about whether or not to watch the Bachelor live (and suffer through commercials) OR wait all the way until thursday to see who Ben would send home. Obviously, I didn't have the patience to wait until Thursday night, so I watched it live. And I was tricked! All the magazine covers and previews indicated that he would SEND COURTNEY HOME! But instead (spoiler alert) he sent Emily and Rachel (two of my faves) home. :(

I don't like that Courtney is still in the mix, I hope he gets rid of her next week. I do like Linzi and Kacie B, not sure about Nikki. I hope Lindzi and Kacie B are the final two, but I am not sure who I want him to end up with...

I thought I would have more time to blog this week...fail

So I was in Charleston, SC for work last week and I brought my laptop and my hunger games book, thinking I would have plenty of time to relax, read, blog and leave comments on my favorite blogs.

Except, I got to my class, met some way cool people, and we proceeded to turn the town upside down for the next two nights :) So it was a good failure, although our "late" nights (11 and 12pm) made for some rough mornings...

But it was worth it, I love meeting new people, we took some cool pictures on the dock by the yacht club (jumping pics and Tebowing/Bradying pics no less), and we laughed until we cried.

Cheers to making the best of mandatory training situations and having a great week! Now I am off to enjoy the rest of my weekend (and hopefully finish the first hunger games book1) :)

Movie Reviews

I have continued my movie watching (i have had some boring weekends, but i love it!)

Crazy Stupid Love

Eh....It was ok. Ryan Gosling, hello abs! (best part of the movie) but i thought the rest of the movie was pretty dumb, and not at all fascinating. but i was sick on the couch, so it was an ok diversion.

Horrible Bosses

The crush on Jason Bateman continues, but this movie was sort of a dud. it was entertaining, and I'm not sure why my movie critic side has come out and i hate everything that is not an amazing movie. i am no longer as entertained as i used to be by rom-coms.

Yet, somehow, i can still be completely addicted to reality tv....hmmm

Reflected Projections of Personal Perceptions

Confused?
Me too!

I used to think i had a pretty realistic view of my personality, good or bad (i am a little sarcastic,very self depracating, and a good listener (i hope)), but maybe i have no idea.

the girl i sit with at work made a comment in passing about me being standoffish, and i was shocked, and immediately launched into a million questions about who thought that and where it came from, then she tried to backpedal in that joking way that you do when you realize you have opened a can of worms with another person and dont want to get into a long discussion. 

"no you aren't standoffish, you are bubbly 100% of the time (sarcasm) and "why are you freaking out about it"

but i kept pressing it and she said that two people had asked if i was ok earlier in the week because i had not been talkative.

i wasnt feeling well, and did not feel like talking, and had a lot of work to get done, so that is my reason for being "not ok"

I dont like being asked if i am ok.....i never have, it feels insincere and a little nosy, you get a hint that something might be wrong and want to jump in and get all the details. ok, i realize that sounds REALLY bitchy, but i am a very expressive and emotional person, if i am really not ok, you will be able to tell very easily. i dont like that not being talkative enough is reason enough to discuss if i am "ok" with someone else, not even with me. (vent)

So here is where the reflected projections come in:

it hurts my feelings to think that people might consider me standoffish, because i am not. but that is my perception.

my perception is that it is better to be quiet and not nosy if the conversation does not involve me, so i try not to be a meddling buttinski (my mom says that), all up in everyones business. if a co-worker comes in to talk to my cubemate, i think it is impolite to stick my nose into their conversation. perhaps i am reflecting that projection on people who come into my cube, and therefore i am being labeled as standoffish, because their perception is that you have to be 100% chipper and cheerful 100% of the time, and if they aren't, something is wrong, and it warrants discussing with other people.

I hope this makes sense, sometimes it is so hard to express feelings over the internet, especially with people you havent met, but at least it is an outlet for me!

phew! it is very cathartic to express how you feel, even if it comes out in a huge jumbled confused mess!

2012--Also WAYYY late

I am justifying this incredible lateness with....nothing, I have no real excuse. failure.

 

But! I am still excited for all the things 2012 has to offer:

 

Europe! to visit my sis while she studies abroad

Summer Olympics (I love all the running, swimming and rowing events the best)

2 months in Washington DC for work

Run  more races (6k, 10K, 15K, 10 milers and half marathons)

Triathalon (maybe)

travel

build this blog, and make new friends through it

have fun!!!

 

 

2011 in Review---WAYYYYY LATE!

January: Celebrated NYE in Atlanta at the Chick Fila Bowl (Go Noles!), drove a Uhaul from Atlanta to Orlando (in the rain) helping Abby move home (scariest 8 hours of my life),moved into an apartment, started taking Zumba (love), went skydiving, turned 25

February: Nothing that I can remember

March: Won socccer championship with my Thursday Team and had an epic St pattys day dt with some of my favorite boys (not so epic for Josh who got into a fight)

April- moved out of my apartment, busy Easter weekend, started my month in DC for work :)

May- In DC for most of the month (love), met up with some family friends, met some new friends, went to lots of museums and monuments, got strep throat for the first time (awful), went to an Orioles game, weekend trip to see my cousin run in a collegiate track meet, went to Miami for Memorial day weekend and to watch Danielle graduate from Law School

June-sand soccer tournament in daytona, Taylor Swift Concert, Detroit for work for 2 weeks (bad), Detroit Tigers game (good), visited Ann Arbor and the Big House (Michigan U stadium), Bruins win stanley cup, Mavericks win NBA championship

July-went to boston to visit family for 4^th of july, saw boston pops rehearsal in the park with martina mcbride (so awesome) , NKOTBSB concert (best Ever!) sand soccer tournament in clearwater, Moved into Baldwin Park

August- Saw Harry Potter part 2 (cried, a lot),Mudd Volleyball tournament year 2, Club Mudd, so awesome!

September- Trip to Key West for Bachelorette party, Apartment gets robbed (low point), spend lots of time dealing with police report and insurance company

October- FSU football game, Ran my first half marathon at Epcot!! Yay J met up with some old friends, great to catch up

November-FSU football girls weekened, Breaking Dawn, thanksgiving, ran 2^nd half marathon (PR’ed by 10 minutes from the first one), threw a bachelorette party and a baby shower for two friends, started a blog after thinking about it for months and being scared

December- went on a  cruise, christmas in boston, FSU Bowl Game (Champs Sports Bowl Champs!), NYE downtown with my favorite ladies,  saw breaking dawn again with my sister on new years day (wanted to start my year off looking at attractive men: aka jacob black)

Movie Reviews

I watched 3 movies last weekend, which is a big thing for me because I have ADD that doesn't allow me to pay attention for longer than an episode of FRIENDS or Sex and the City. So I thought I would review said movies.

 

Water For Elephants

 

I read the book and LOVED it! Movies never live up to the books, in my opinion, and this was no different. It was a good movie, I thought Rob Pattinson was a much better actress separated from Kristin Stewart lol, and it kept my attention for the most part, but it didn't elaborate enough on the drama and emotions behind the characters, which you can feel much better in the book. 

Rating: B-

Friends with Benefits

Yuck. I thought this movie was a waste of time. Yes, I love JT as much as anyone else, and he is a decent actor. And i have a MAJOR girl crush on Mila Kunis, but I couldn't get into this at all. The storyline is very played out, and yes their lives in the movie were glamorous, but I couldnt get on either character's side, really connect with them at all. I almost turned it off. Disappointed.

Rating: D

 

The Change Up

I love Ryan Reynolds (who doesn't, seriously) and I love Jason Bateman, and Leslie Mann. But this one was not such a winner. Another played out story line, and they didnt show Ryan Reynolds character developing out of his stunted adolescence at the end. Worth the $2 I spent on it. not sure if it was worth the 2 hours of my time.

 Rating: C

(Please ignore how sad my weekend was that I watched 3 movies :)

Bachelor Recap-Spoiler Alert!!!

 I know I am a few days late to this, but I am just now watching Monday's Bachelor. I can't believe he got rid of Jennifer?!?!?

She is beautiful and genuine and gracious, even after he didn't give her a rose. I like her even more now.

She was so strong and classy, and then you could see her real emotions come through once she is in the car. 

I am a big fan.  I am sad to see her go :(

 I am glad that Ben gave Emily another chance, even though she almost screwed it up for a second week in a row talking shit about Courtney. We get it, nobody likes her, and she is a different person around him than she is around the other girls. Kill her with class, not by acting like a middle school girl! I want Emily to stick around, but she must stop self-combusting!

Bonus: I figured out how to add pictures to this blog! now maybe it will stop being so boring :)