Word Vomit, Fall and Football!

I have so many things to say,  and have had for weeks, but as usual, I can’t get them out in words. These past few weeks have included  a lot of new-ish emotions, a lot of connecting to people from my past, hearing stories of their paths that are so different from mine, and as a result of these re-connections, a lot of thinking. While I don’t love living in the place where I grew up,  it can be a fun and pleasant experience to run into people from my past, except when I am running into the store after yoga and run into someone who thinks that I look like this sweaty red-faced mess all the time (I don’t, promise). Anyways, it makes my heart happy when people reach out to me, in times of happiness, or sadness or change, it's always welcome, and I wish I were better at being the one to reach out. I'm working on it. It’s nice to feel like no time has passed, and to get to know these people  in their life now, not like you knew them in the past. End ramble. I think. However, re-connecting after a long absence entails lots of “what’s new?”, “Are you dating anyone?”, “ What have you been up to?” questions, and its not easy for me to say I have been at the same job for 3 years (definitely not a bad thing, but saying the number out loud makes me wonder where the last 3 years have gone and what have I done during that time),  I haven’t had a serious relationship in 4 years, or anything resembling a relationship in over 3 years (eep). Saying that out loud to someone was a slap in the face reality check of my life. I had to ask myself, what HAVE I done in the past 3 years, 5 years, 10 years. I have decided that will be another post, to help me realize that I have accomplished things in that time. I am not ashamed to admit that I like stability, and constants, and I don’t always do well with change. But that doesn’t mean that change never needs to happen in my life. It does. Like now. I need it to challenge me, to break me down and show me what I am really made of.  I need relationships to open me up and challenge me in a different way, to hurt in that vulnerable way and feel good at the same time. I need these things to happen to me, for me, with me, but I’m not sure how to start. I don’t know if I am putting the right vibes/signals/emotions out there that reflects what I want. I believe in the law of attraction, that what you put out is what you get back, and at certain points in my life I try harder to really focus on what I want to get back, and make an effort to put that type of energy out into the universe. This is a goal of mine, for it to be a constant thing instead of an intermittent thing.That can also be another whole post. High Five for blog post ideas within other blog posts!

Enough heavy stuff. Phew. It is  officially my favorite season of the year, except the weather seems to differ. Stupid Florida. I looveee FALLLLLL!!!! My most favorite part of fall is pretty obvious because it is also the favorite of many, many others, college football! Go Noles!! I am so excited for a season of triumphs and tragedies (hopefully all triumphs) of my boys in the garnet and gold, good times with friends, cooler weather, some fall road trips and travel, and fun fall traditions :)

Oops, that was another ramble. I promise I am done. So to ensure I do not commit the ultimate blogger sin of posting without pictures (gasp!), I will continue my love affair with fall with some pictures, pictures that do not currently represent me at this present moment, sitting and sweating outside in a tank and shorts with an ice cold diet coke because my organs would combust if I tried to suck down a Pumpkin Spice Latte at this moment. 

FSU QB #5- Jameis Winston aka Famous Jameis.

Our hope rests in those big hands of yours, buddy.

Scalp Em! Go Noles!

Summer Bucket List

Oops, took a month-plus blogging break without even meaning to. I have been busy, which will always be true, but mostly I just didn't take the time to sit down, think and write.Here's to a new month (10 days late) of recording my life as it happens! (I wish I had started on July 1, but oh well).

June was a busy month, full of sand soccer, regular soccer, lots of yoga, discovering how much I love fresh juices, and deciding where I wanted to move.

July has started off busy as well, with a 7-day trip to Boston, July 4th at Fenway Park, and some quality family and friend time, and some relaxation at the Trapp Family Lodge, which of course I loved because the Trapp Family story inspired the Sound of Music!!

 

Now it's almost time to go back home to humid FL, for more sand soccer, and crossing things of that Summer Bucket List!!

A few weeks ago I started jotting down some summer goals on my phone, and it quickly turned into a long list.... So I am posting it here to keep myself accountable to the items on the list. Some are serious, some are silly, but I firmly believe that it is good to have goals that challenge you so life doesn't get stale ;)

Summer Bucket List
Golf
Play tennis with Dad
Go vegan/vegetarian for a week
No caffeine for a week
One day no phone
Social media free week/weekend
Read five books (outside of book club)
Run 10 miles at once

Sign up for a race (10k or higher)
5 days no tv
Keep nails painted all summer
Drink a corona Rita
Take an impromptu trip
Save more money
Don't avoid people when you run into them ;)
Visit Danielle in Miami
Lose 10 lbs
Get second tattoo
Buy ray ban aviators
Have a steamy make out session 💋

So there you have it! Ready, set, go!!

One Year

Last Sunday marked one year since the world lost my sweet Nana. It was a day of mixed emotions to say the least. I am in awe at how fast a year has gone by, and felt both like a million things and nothing at all happened in that time frame. I spent most of the day at my childhood church, St Stephens,  celebrating our priest, Father John's 50th anniversary of his ordination. I was baptized at St. Stephens by Father John, in the cafeteria because the church wasn't finished being built yet. I did all of my CCD, PREP and Confirmation classes there, and it has always been my home church, an open, faithful and loving community that I am proud to be a part of. The church itself is breathtaking, huge and open, with beautiful and special details. The music is second to none. I stood next to one of my best friends last year at this church as she married the love of her life, and it is a wonderful, wonderful place. Anyways, end ramble, back to the topic. We celebrated with a beautiful mass celebrating Fr John, with heartwarming stories, beautiful songs, and a gigantic church packed 100% to the brim with parishioners from near and very far, to gather and celebrate a wonderful man who is truly a servant of God, and who has been a comforting, loving and faithful presence for so many people.

Anyways, again off topic. Nana. It seemed fitting that this celebration occurred on the anniversary of her death, because she was the Godliest woman I have ever met. She went to church every day, prayed daily with her  Italian prayer novena, which my grandpa now has taken over praying with every day since she left us, and she had the quietest, but most faithful spirit I have ever encountered. She was so gentle, so kind, so loving, quiet, caring, friendly and generous. So many things have reminded me of her over the past year, and I smile thinking of her, always. My sister told us a few weeks ago that she used to pinch Nana's skin, which was so pale and soft in her old age. I crack up laughing thinking about my sister gently pinching the skin on Nana's frail, soft arm and hands, and that she would think Emily was a nut case for doing this, but smiling and letting her do it anyway.

Being in the church on that sad day was comforting, my dad and I talked about her a little bit, how she would have loved to see the turnout of people, all celebrating someone who was so close to God, just like Nana was. It made me feel close to her, which was a nice reminder that she may be gone from the Earth, but never far from our hearts.

Nana, we miss you and love you always and forever.

Blog Every Day in May

Wow...I set out to blog every day in May, was given interesting prompts, and even wrote posts, but end up posting less frequently than normal. Fail...

Anyways, I will attempt to catch up....

Day 12, Sunday: What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)

I miss being young and careless. In middle school, I wasn’t the most popular kid, I was awkward with the whole package of awkwardness: braces, glasses(tinted blue no less so my eyes wouldn’t be damaged by the sun. Thanks mom), thick bangs, strange clothes, and hairy legs (until I was 12 and allowed to shave them). But this didn’t bother me, or my friends. We were all sort of awkward in our own ways, but we were also pretty confident with ourselves, we were smart, but not super nerds, most of us played sports, and we were just happy to be ourselves. Life hadn't turned into a place full of judgement for us yet, we hadn't felt pressure to live up to expectations yet, we just had a good time having sleepovers, watching scary movies and freezing peoples bras. We couldn’t wait to grow up, but were happy right where we were, content with who we were, and did what  we wanted (or what our parents would let us do), and that was a great feeling, even if we weren't aware of it yet.

I have included a picture to document the awkwardness, just for fun. :)

Day 22, Wednesday: Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really ticks you off)

I thought this was easy topic to choose, until I went off on a complete mental tangent. I want to rant about people. People can be so mean, so hurtful and so selfish and don’t even give it another thought. When did this world become so full of judgement? When did it become ok to hurt peoples feelings on purpose? When did it become ok to not listen? People are so self-righteous these days, constantly looking down on anyone who does or thinks things differently than they do. I am in no way innocent of this, judgements slip through your mind and cross your lips before you have barely registered them, and sometimes I am quick to jump into a conversation without truly listening to what the other person is saying. But at least I acknowledge that it occurs, and TRY to make an effort to be a better listener, a better friend, a better human. Some people are so wrapped up in their own world they cant even do that, and it makes me sad. For some reason talking about humans being selfish led me to think about excuses. Excuses are everywhere, lurking, surfacing and abundant. I am not innocent of this, by any means, but the guilt of making excuses never fails to build up and grab at me. Excuses about eating healthy, about losing weight, about working out, about their relationships, about why they aren't working at their dream job, aren't making that move to the new city, aren't living out their dreams in any way, shape or form. Again I'm not innocent in this, but I am trying to make a conscious effort to find out what truly tugs at my heartstrings, and to let those things guide my life as much as possible.